When I looked at the illustration on the card I immediately knew I wanted to record a mix of industrial techno I’d been collecting for months. I wanted to do this for a long time already, but never managed to. I thought this mix was going to be an easy one, because I had a long list of great tunes. But it proved to be far more complicated. At the end of this project I wanted to be able to say: “Here you go, now you know everything there is to know about me”. But how was I going to communicate this view on my self, of being this strange mix of sensitivity and strength, of being this passionate, incurable romanticist with an anarchistic twist?”, because that’s what the card was inspiring me with. Then the hummingbird in the picture, serving as a guide, said: ”This is what’s already known, go deeper!”. I read the explanatory description of the card again, and got totally lost in these phrases: ‘The deepest interiority in communion with the self. That which access isn’t granted to others but us. The most secret side known only by god creator’. I ended up going on some shamanic journey of deliciously tripping on new music I was collecting to add to the mix, while running into this chaos of defence mechanisms surrounding my own inner self, and eventually actually experiencing what’s going on in the ‘deepest interiority in communion with my inner self’. Ehhh, quite a lot! Help? It’s taken a lot of time to collect additional tracks to express myself with, and to mould them all with the original plan into a coherent mix has been quite a technical challenge. But the most interesting part of this project is gaining this insight only just now, while I’m writing this for publication: My most secret side is not my vulnerability, it is not my greatest fear or some fantasy about a hidden desire, but the interaction between them. Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoyed the mix. Love, Kiki Toao Shaman and Founder of The Shamaniac Movement