Actually for most of my years lived until the present I’ve been fascinated by darker energy and how it actually plays an important role in my life. This note for many will sound pessimistic. Personally the opposite is actually the case, overall I see many possibilities for a brighter future and hope plays an important role in maintaining this, not becoming exhausted from misfortune (and, for example, as a friend once said to me ”death is the most romantic thing you could possibly imagine in our world”). Nevertheless, what would hope be like if you never experience despair? In my opinion hope in that way would result in some naïve as well as insufficient saunter. And that is why despair sometimes is needed, combined with pain and calmness. From the moment of acceptation and reflection there rises new hope based on a new created future that might be more satisfying overall and helps in the discovery of our complex self. So, with this personal interpretation of the ‘Guardian of Despair’ in mind I started to select records for an extended musical story that is a dynamic one, but dynamic in a smooth way, from minute to minute evolving, showing the diversity of a (personal) process that originated by a dramatic event that shadows hopefulness, followed by disarray & neglect further spiralling down into an overall state of despair. Precisely in the core of the mix (around min 50) a meditational state of mercy is found. Instead of seeking for blinks of light, from there darkness is embraced and guides to an tensive forthcoming of the unknown without the uncontrolled fear known from its former experience. So, to conclude: this mix is my personal translation of dealing with negativity, a lonely process of go through, but not a process without intrinsic beauty enabling acceptance, inspiration, and new revealed directions.